A tragic incident occurred at St Andrew’s Cathedral School in Sydney, where 24-year-old hockey coach Paul Thijssen fatally attacked his ex-girlfriend, 21-year-old water polo coach Lilie James, with a hammer. This violent act took place in the gym bathroom on 25 October 2023, just five days after James ended their short-lived two-month relationship.
Forensic psychologist Katie Seidler has suggested that Thijssen’s actions stemmed from a fragile self-image that was deeply affected by the break-up. According to her analysis, Thijssen built a facade of perfection to mask feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. The fear of the relationship ending appears to have driven him to an extreme response, as he sought to regain a sense of control and power.
Despite Thijssen’s previous patterns of coercive control within relationships, Seidler noted a lack of warning signs that could have indicated impending violence. Thijssen had no history of aggressive behaviour, leading her to conclude that the tragic events might have been unavoidable. Both the nature of the relationship and issues surrounding coercive control are being scrutinised in an ongoing inquest, especially following his death shortly after the incident.
Coroner Teresa O’Sullivan is currently examining the circumstances surrounding Thijssen’s demise to determine if it was a self-inflicted situation. Additionally, Australia’s eSafety Commissioner, Julie Inman Grant, is expected to provide testimony on the final day of the inquest, before the family of James shares their statements.
The inquest has highlighted significant concerns regarding gender-based violence and the psychological factors that can lead to such tragic outcomes, with O’Sullivan labelling the case as “absolutely tragic.” The community is mourning the loss of a young life, while discussions around support and prevention strategies continue to be critical in addressing these pervasive issues. For those affected, help can be sought from the National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).