This heart-wrenching story follows Kirby, a doula and newborn photographer, who dreams of becoming a mother but has faced the trauma of 14 miscarriages. In a moment of hope, a client kindly offered to be her surrogate following Kirby’s struggles. However, the situation took an unexpected turn when the intended surrogate conceived naturally. She assured Kirby the baby would still belong to her, yet the joy turned to heartbreak at the birth.
Kirby, emotionally devastated, expressed her feelings on a current affairs program, acknowledging the pain of losing what she believed would be her child. The birth mother, who remains anonymous due to legal reasons, clarified in the interview that they never intended to hurt Kirby and simply experienced a situation out of their control. She also wanted Kirby to fully participate in the pregnancy, including baby showers, and had gifted her items for the baby.
Kirby’s journey began with a heartfelt connection to the family she photographed, culminating in the offer of surrogacy after witnessing their own journey. They had made some progress, including counselling and a donation of embryos, before the surprise pregnancy occurred. While Kirby prepared for motherhood and even named the baby, her marriage fell apart, challenging her emotionally and financially.
On the day of the birth, Kirby was uninvited to the hospital but made an attempt to be present, resulting in her being escorted away. The birth mother later described feeling unsafe allowing the baby to be handed over to Kirby, leading to a complex situation of legalities surrounding parental rights in Australia. Although surrogacy is legal, it is heavily regulated, leaving Kirby in an uncertain position as the birth mother’s intentions shifted.
Despite investing emotionally and financially in the pregnancy, Kirby found herself grappling with the loss of her dream of motherhood once again, expressing feelings of devastation and the impact it has had on her mental health. The experience underscores the emotional and legal complexities surrounding surrogacy in Australia, especially when unexpected situations arise.