After a recent breakup with someone who’s wonderful in bed but inappropriate as a partner, you’re facing a dilemma: should you continue having sex with your ex? Though you derive immense pleasure from it and have agreed to a friends-with-benefits arrangement, you’re also considering whether this might hinder your ability to move on and date new people.
Eleanor advises that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to your question. Many assert that friends-with-benefits situations seldom work out, yet she believes the answer relies on personal circumstances. Here are some critical points to consider:
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Assessing the Connection: You claim this is the best sexual experience you’ve had, but you should contemplate whether this is due to the unique chemistry with your ex or your own developing preferences. If this arrangement provided a learning opportunity about sexual wants and needs, the feelings might not signify a permanent peak in your sexual life—there could still be more to explore.
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Impact on Future Relationships: Continuing a sexual relationship with your ex may complicate future dating. When you engage intimately with your ex, it can drain your energy and enthusiasm for new connections. You might approach new partners with a mindset shaped by past experiences instead of fostering a fresh connection. This can lead to unfair comparisons, complicating your ability to build new chemistry.
- Revisiting Past Issues: Engaging sexually with your ex might revive the same dynamics that led to the original breakup. The unresolved complications in your relationship could emerge even without the romantic connection, making it difficult to enjoy what’s supposed to be a casual arrangement. You need to be aware that old patterns could resurface, and without the framework of a relationship to address them, the potential for hurt still exists.
In conclusion, if your ultimate goal is to completely move on from your ex, that will eventually require stopping all physical contact as part of the healing process. However, there is no rush to sever ties immediately. Transitions from relationships can take time, and the intimacies shared often linger longer than expected. It’s crucial to remain mindful of the emotional costs involved in continuing your current arrangement before deciding on the best path forward.