The writer, a parent to two children aged eight and four, finds herself grappling with the challenges of motherhood while living in a mostly content family environment with her partner. She reflects on having had her kids in her early thirties without thorough contemplation, leading to feelings of regret and envy towards her single friends. The demands of parenting, particularly during weekends and school holidays, often leave her feeling overwhelmed. She expresses guilt about her lack of enjoyment in engaging with her children and resorts to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as excessive screen time and junk food, just to carve out some personal space.
Eleanor, responding to her concerns, highlights a common misconception that parenthood inherently brings joy to everyone. She acknowledges that not all parents bond with their children immediately and that some may even question their decisions to have kids. Eleanor suggests that understanding parenthood as a fluid experience, where emotions can evolve, might help the writer accept her current situation. She reassures that parenting can grow more engaging as children develop personalities and interests that align more with adult perspectives.
Moreover, Eleanor warns against the potential dangers of unexpressed parental regret, which can inadvertently affect children’s feelings of self-worth. It’s crucial for parents to recognise their emotions and find outlets for them outside of their family dynamics, so children do not sense any negativity related to their existence. She encourages a shift in mindset, suggesting the writer focus on what specifically about parenting feels taxing rather than rejecting the entire experience of parenthood.
Ultimately, Eleanor provides practical advice for managing the emotional complexities of parenting and highlights the importance of self-acceptance while navigating the often challenging journey of raising children.