Yasmina Elmerkaoui, a 28-year-old social media creator, reflects on her personal experience with the “roommate phase” of relationships, a period where emotional and physical intimacy may wane due to the routines of daily life, such as work and parenting. Despite being happily married to her high school sweetheart and raising two young children, Yasmina has felt a disconnect at times, describing it as co-existing like roommates rather than best friends. She emphasises the importance of addressing these feelings before they escalate.
According to relationships counsellor Jill Dzadey, this phase is common in long-term relationships, exacerbated by life’s responsibilities, especially children. She highlights the need for couples to intentionally nurture their connection, especially during challenging periods. Rachel Hannam, a clinical director, notes that monotony can foster resentment, which further hinders intimacy.
To combat the roommate phase, experts advise couples to communicate openly and develop creative ways to spend quality time together. Yasmina stresses that regular check-ins about feelings can help illuminate potential issues early on. By sharing her journey, she’s aiming to destigmatise these common relationship struggles, encouraging others to seek help when needed and reminding them that experiencing lulls in a relationship is perfectly normal.