Last year, Anne*, a 31-year-old from Sydney, decided to remove dating apps from her life due to overwhelming stress. For four months, she juggled the challenges of dating and house hunting simultaneously, often feeling excluded while competing with couples at real estate auctions. The continual disappointments on apps like Hinge led to emotional fatigue, highlighting a pattern of first dates that lacked genuine connection, resembling transactional real estate interactions.
Anne found the financial burden of dating weighed heavily on her. While she usually preferred splitting the bill on first dates, she found herself wishing for her dates to cover costs, revealing a conflict between her generous nature and economic pressures. The costs associated with dating apps, especially purchasing features like “Roses” on Hinge, further strained her finances.
Realising that she couldn’t maintain both pursuits, Anne shifted her focus entirely to finding a home, which felt more attainable than developing meaningful romantic connections. Her experience reflects a broader trend, as data shows a significant decline in users willing to pay for dating apps. Match Group, which owns popular platforms including Tinder and Hinge, has seen its shares plummet due to insufficient revenue from their user base.
John*, a 51-year-old who has used various dating platforms over seven years, also shares his struggles with online dating. Frustrated with ghosting and transient interactions, he exploring eHarmony, attracted by its comprehensive survey-based matchmaking. However, he encountered unexpected costs and difficulties in accessing profiles without payment, leading him to abandon the site after a bewildering cancellation process.
In a concerning trend, a study from the Australian Institute of Criminology highlighted that three-quarters of online dating service users reported experiences of sexual violence, raising alarms about safety in the digital dating realm. In response to these concerns, the Australian government introduced a new code of conduct for dating platforms, aiming to reduce harm.
Despite the challenging landscape of online dating, Anne’s experience is echoed by many who find themselves disengaged from these platforms. After months of searching, Anne eventually found an apartment and decided to give dating another shot. However, after various unsuccessful attempts, including speed dating—which she likened to “throwing money into a gutter”—she resolved to explore in-person social avenues such as salsa dancing. This new strategy offers the dual benefit of physical activity and skill development without the stress often associated with online dating.
In the end, Anne, along with her friends, is moving away from the digitised dating landscape, seeking more authentic, real-life connections instead.
*Names have been changed.