In her 40s, the author reflects on her achievements, which include a specialist role, an academic position, a marriage, and a mortgage. Despite this success, she grapples with feelings of inadequacy and impostor syndrome, often feeling overshadowed by others who appear to have accomplished more. This self-doubt is exacerbated by a perception that she only succeeded through luck or connections rather than merit.
Eleanor, the advisor, acknowledges that even celebrated figures like Maya Angelou have experienced similar doubts about deserving their success. To combat this inner critic, she suggests responding to negative thoughts by recognising that skill and effort are essential components of success, even if luck played a role. She encourages listing one’s unique combination of strengths, as no one else can replicate that blend.
Eleanor proposes that rather than fixating on self-worth, individuals should focus on how to utilise their current position for growth and contribution. Embracing discomfort as a learning opportunity may allow one to shift from proving worth to questioning societal standards that fuel self-doubt. Ultimately, acknowledging one’s achievements while being open to personal development is key to overcoming the cycle of insecurity.