Understanding Family Violence: Personal Reflections and Societal Responsibility
Joe*, a father of three, reflects on his shocking realisation that he was perpetrating family violence. This came to light when he received an intervention order, revealing the extent of his abusive behaviour, which included financial control and emotional abuse. He wrongly believed that family violence was simply physical, unaware of its psychological and economic dimensions.
Similarly, Salvatore* acknowledged his manipulative behaviour, which stemmed from learned patterns of demeanour seen in his upbringing. Engaging in Men’s Behaviour Change Programs allowed both men to confront their actions and understand the societal implications of their behaviours. Joe found profound insights listening to others’ experiences, while Salvatore discovered that verbalising his actions helped them feel tangible and shameful, ultimately leading to personal growth.
Phillip Ripper, CEO of No to Violence, emphasises the need for tailored responses to men who exhibit violent behaviours, stressing that acknowledging one’s choices is fundamental to fostering healthier interactions. The Men’s Referral Service offers crucial support and counselling, highlighting the importance of community engagement in combatting family violence.
Furthermore, Sue Clarke shares her mixed feelings about the broad classifications of perpetrators. Despite the harrowing loss of her daughter and grandchildren to domestic violence, she believes that not all abusers are beyond redemption—some can change. Together with her husband Lloyd, they strive to raise awareness about coercive control, recently achieving legal recognition in Queensland and New South Wales.
Lloyd acknowledges the evolving understanding of coercive control and advocates for educational initiatives to identify red flags in abusive relationships. Recognising and discussing these issues is critical in preventing future violence.
Acting Police Commissioner Peter Thurtell comments on the shift in police perspective regarding domestic violence, recognising it as a broader issue than just physical aggression. He calls on responsible men to challenge unacceptable behaviour among their peers, stating that community involvement is vital in addressing family violence.
The conversation around family violence continues to evolve, highlighting the critical need for education, societal change, and personal accountability. As we strive for a safer community, it is clear that addressing emotional and financial abuse is just as essential as recognising physical violence.
Support Services:
For those in need of help, resources like the Men’s Referral Service (1300 766 491) and 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) are available 24/7. Changes in societal attitudes and legal recognitions of all forms of abuse are essential for progress.
*Names have been changed for privacy.